sansadaynes:

i feel like why the aziz ansari case is polarising and why so many men as well as women (many of whom have previously been supportive of #metoo) are adamant that it wasn’t sexual assault is because if you accept that coercion is not consent, then a lot of men have to accept that they have inflicted non consensual sex acts upon women/people. and if women admit that coercion isn’t consent than they have to accept that they had non consensual sexual acts inflicted upon them. 

and whilst explicit and repeated consent is important, the focus on “no means no” has left some people acting like ten no’s and a single defeated yes means yes. also that due to societal conditioning or pressure, women or more vulnerable people may not say a clear and firm “no” but rather a quiet and placating “i’d rather not” or “if you don’t mind can we do something else”