danekez:

Playing Overwatch, I’m a dirty Hanzo main. I choose Hanzo whatever map and whatever game mode. Now, this self-indulgent habit is often balanced with my desire to win. So I when I chose Hanzo… And my ENTIRE team chose offense heros with No Healers and NO Tank I sighed. I will be the bigger man. I change and opt for a healer because a tank without a healer is USELESS. The tracer on my team changes out for a Roadhog, obviously going through the same train of thought that I am. I walk up to him before the game starts and make the decision to pocket-heal him in the hopes that it will inspire our entirely offensive team to, you know, group up. He thanks me when I link up the healing stream. I lock eyes with his and we both share a moment of lamenting, remorseful silence. The deal is set, I’m not moving.

Our team does not group up. The defending team has two bastions, a Reinhardt, an accurate Widowmaker, and a zenyatta. Roadhog and I stay holed up together in a sad little hole as he pokes out and slowly beats away at the Reinhardts shield. He’s taking so much damage that o get my ult up in record time. I resurrect him every time he dies. Eventually this tactic works- he breaks through the shield, hooks one of the bastions, dies while killing the bastion, and I resurrect him.

We singlehandedly took the point because our team was doing NOTHING. By the end of the round Roadhog was typing into the team chat “please. Please will someone make some kills. Please I’m begging you please can someone other than me make some kills” and in response I begin going battle-mercy and killing off the flankers before they can get to me. We won.