Draco Malfoy personally made the Potter stinks buttons and nobody could fix them to say Harry was cool and shit, if they tried it would only make the insults worse
You wouldn’t know Draco Malfoy was always right behind Hermione in grades
You wouldn’t know Draco was seriously the most animated person at school and acted out everything.
You wouldn’t know Draco got deeply offended when people didn’t laugh at his jokes
You wouldn’t know Draco created the Weasley is our King song, tune and all. (Probably in the shower or something because he’s such a weenie)
You wouldn’t know Draco and Ron got into a fist fight in their first year
You wouldn’t know about the huge knock down drag out between Draco, Harry and the rest of the Slytherin and Gryffindor quidditch team in their fifth year. (Harry and Draco just fucking tackle each other and start whooping each others asses and it’s amazing.)
You would miss out on basically everything Draco says and does. He’s a walking gold mine and It’s upsetting the movies didn’t devote a few seconds for any of his shit (Azkaban did an okay job)
You wouldn’t know about the Weasley is our king buttons he made in fifth year either
You wouldn’t know Draco didn’t actually try and fight a Hippogriff
he was just petting him and offhandedly said that he was ugly. He didn’t sprint over to him, he actually did all the bowing and what not.
If you didn’t read the books you wouldn’t know that Draco is the most annoyingly smart and artistic little shit you’ve ever heard of.
you also wouldn’t know that Harry was the only seeker who could beat him.
That he suffered from quite severe depression in book five. Quit Quidditch, stopped seeing his friends. He was depressed to the point of looking physically sick.
That when he confronted Dumbledore he said he had to kill Dumbledore because Voldemort had his family. Not because he was concerned for himself.
You wouldn’t know that he was the only person able to find a way into Hogwarts passed Dumbledores protection spells.
you guys also miss out on the fact that Draco brilliantly sneaks some polyjuice potion from a potions lesson so that he can transform Crabbe and Goyle into different girls all the time so that no one suspected they were up to anything while the two of them guarded the area outside of the room of requirement for Draco.
you guys don’t get to see how his “big bad slytherin buddies” actually tried to calm him down on the train when he was obviously anxious about the whole Voldemort thing. he even calmly laid in Pansy’s lap while she played with his hair.
you guys don’t know about Draco going to visit moaning Myrtle in her bathroom and how she admits that he opens up to her and how he’s sensitive and cries pretty often. and the whole fact that they’re friends.
you guys even miss out on the fact that Draco and Harry meet before they introduce themselves in the handshake scene while they’re being fitted for school robes in Diagon Alley, and Draco has a full conversation with Harry without even knowing who he is.
i don’t think you even get a glimpse of the fact that Draco always receives letters and packages of sweets and stuff from home while he’s away at school.
i also can’t stand the fact that they removed THIS SCENEand basically added the total opposite. how are you going to delete the best character development for Draco, and just make him weak? standing next to his fellow classmates and refusing to cross the courtyard when his family calls him, yelling “Potter!” when he realizes that Harry is actually alive and running towards him and throwing him a wand!! it’s the strongest, ballsiest, audience-mind-changingly scene possible, and they just throw it all away.
((sorry i’m just really salty about how he was portrayed in the movies ok))
I’m internally screaming because this is everything that needs to be known by all of those haven’t read the books and have the bALLS TO SAY THE MOVIES ARE BETTER
When Ron, frustrated with studying for NEWTs and with Hermione’s anxious sixth-year nagging, explains to her what reading is like for him, Hermione’s breath catches. “Ron, you’re dyslexic,” she says, softly, and instantly regrets every snide comment she’s ever made towards his study habits.
Soon, by asking around, Hermione amasses a list of spells for Ron to try – some stilling the page, some changing the font of books for easy reading, some going after Ron’s temporal lobe directly.
These help, a little, but not as much as knowing there’s a word for why reading is so hard for him. That it’s normal, that he’s not stupid, and that Hermione suddenly helps instead of criticizes, looks for solutions rather than complains, praises instead of gloats.
this paragraph is better than anything jk ever wrote about grown ron
THIS IS THE ULTIMATE EVOLUTION OF RONALD BILIUS WEASLEY
I met a really clever reader the other day, and this is what’s wonderful about books; she said to me, I really know what Neville looks like.’ And I said ‘Describe Neville for me.’ And she said, `Well, he’s short and he’s black, and he’s got dreadlocks.’ Now, to me, Neville’s short and plump and blond, but that’s what’s great about books. You know, she’s just seeing something different. People bring their own imagination to it. They have to collaborate with the author on creating the world.
Ok so first of all that drawing of Neville and Trevor is completely freaking adorable, but that quote of JK’s is super handy to have too. Next time someone freaks out about black Hermione or desi Harry or any of the other amazing POC character canons out there, you can just be like “well JK is down with it so wtf is your problem oh wait I know what it is”
Has anyone done a “Lily and James Live” AU where Lily takes over as Potions Master after Slughorn retires instead of Snape?
Professor Potter, patient and kind with all students and especially helpful to overwhelmed muggleborns.
Professor Potter, whose dorky husband randomly pops up in the school in odd places with their infant son, though never seems to come in from the front door.
Professor Potter, whose little boy sometimes helps her add potions ingredients to her cauldron when she’s giving a demonstration during class.
Professor Potter, who will pay responsible prefects a few galleons to watch Harry for a few hours while her dorky husband insists on taking her out to dinner.
Professor Potter, the subject of many adolescent crushes.
Professor Potter, who has tea with Professor McGonagall and Professor Sprout regularly, often interrupted by her dorky husband who passes up no opportunity to drop in on his lovely wife and bother McGonagall for old time’s sake.
Professor Potter, who attends every Quidditch match with her dorky husband at her side and her son on her lap waving a small Gryffindor flag.
Professor Potter, pregnant with her second child and brewing anti-nausea potions to get through all her classes despite all the smells.
Professor Potter, who earns Professor Flitwick ten galleons because he bet that she would go into labor the moment the O.W.L.s began.
Professor Potter, who regularly writes with Professor Slughorn about all the star pupils she has.
Professor Potter, who really tries not to favor Gryffindor, really, but the Weasley boy truly showed so much improvement since last class, the points were well-earned!
Professor Potter, who creates a safe and encouraging environment for students to learn in.
Holy shit I was not expecting all these notes, fam. And fic recs in the reblogs!
Anyway I thought of more stuff:
Professor Potter, who very rarely misses class but when she does, the retirement-loving Slughorn is more than happy to step in. Let’s be real, as much as he likes collecting people that will do favors for him, she can get a couple out of him, as well.
Professor Potter, who brews the wolfsbane potion for Professor Lupin every month and is beside herself with joy when he’s hired.
Professor Potter, whose husband is so conflicted over who he’s going to bother now when he pops in to Hogwarts unannounced: his wife, his children, or Remus. All of them are so rarely in the same place.
Professor Potter, who is late to substitute for Professor Lupin one day and finds her husband and Sirius claiming to be the substitute instructors and having sent half the class off to find a mythical creature called a snipe.
Professor Potter, whose son is always asked for Potions help because “your mum is the teacher!” Meanwhile, he just wants to do this extra credit assignment for Moony, okay, DADA is way cooler (don’t tell his mother he said that).
Professor Potter, who decorates her classroom extravagantly for every holiday. She and Flitwick end up getting competitive about it.
Also:
Professor Potter, the embarrassingly proud momma who whoops when her kids get sorted (because she’s proud of ‘em wherever they go)
Professor Potter, who keeps a close eye on her students’ friendships and relationships and offers great advice to both sides when they get into spats (how she keeps track of it all no one knows)
Professor Potter, the mama bear who interrogates the poor soul their kid happens to fancy (and would unashamedly set her kids up if she approves)
Professor Potter, who looks the other way when her students set up pranks on Filch or other professors (but never on an innocent kid, no, she’d give them hell for that- and heaven help the Marauders if they were involved)
Professor Potter, who outright punches Umbridge the minute she finds about her methods (everyone cheered, Harry and his sibling/s and his friends just smiled knowingly, and the other professors were torn between holding her back and letting her continue)
Professor Potter, who visits Hagrid with her kids and husband at his little hut, and eats his rock cakes (despite having already shattered a tooth once)
Professor Potter, who takes over Muggle Studies one semester and immediately shucks the textbook out the window, crying out at how outdated and plain wrong it was (then proceeds to smuggle Muggle tech into Hogwarts to show them how they actually work)
The most hilarious thing about the fact Buckbeak had a trial and lost is that later on JKR resolves the issue by having Hagrid take him in again and renaming him Witherwings. That’s literally all it took. What if in POA, Hagrid simply said, “Sorry, Buckbeak flew away.”
“There’s a hippogriff right there, Hagrid.”
“A different hipprogriff.”
“I’m… pretty sure that’s the same hipprogriff.”
“Prove it.”
no dna tests we die like scientifically underdeveloped societies
Prisoner of Azkaban continues to be the most frustrating book
Someone should have just adopted Sirius and started calling him Gerald.
Remus: Erm… this is our new order member, my… cousin Gerald. Gerald White.
“Mr. Lupin that is Sirius Black with glasses!” “Oh come now Minister, Sirius Black doesn’t wear glasses. That wouldn’t make sense.” “Well have Mr. White take off his glasses then!” “He can’t he needs them to see.”
it got better
It’s honestly a miracle to me that wizarding society doesn’t collapse every other week because like
You’ve got this world full of people who can destroy whole buildings or turn people into beetles or make vehicles fly just by waving a stick at them
And there is literally no common sense
Anywhere to be found
Voldemort would never have had anyone find out he was back if he just went around calling himself Steve
Okay, see, I thought I saved this post to comment on it but I’d like to bring up
The Minister would NEVER EVER disbelieve in Gerald White. He’d buy it hook line and sinker. The wizarding world would buy it hook line and sinker. The GOBLINS wouldn’t but wizards have been shown to be pretty blindingly clueless. Still, Gringotts would grudgingly give Sirius access to the Black fortune.
But, but, but, you know the one person
the one person
who Gerald White would drive AB-SO-LUTELY FUCKING BATSHIT?
Severus Snape.
Snape would do everything, EVERYTHING, to get people to believe that it’s Sirius. But the Order would ignore it (they accepted Sirius as Sirius before anyway) and Remus would just be so… so affronted.
‘Severus, he is my cousin.’
And Sirius would love it. He’d love the fact that Snape just hated it. He’d be the BEST DAMN GERALD WHITE EVER b/c Snape is doing everything from dropping veritaserum into his firewhisky to capturing a dementor in a box and releasing it on Sirius when he least expects it
That one causes problems for a bare minute because SHIT A DEMENTOR ATTEMPTED TO GIVE GERALD THE KISS MAYBE SNAPE IS RIGHT except Harry comes forward and is like ‘excuse me, I’ve never committed a crime and dementors are ALWAYS attacking me, I think they’re attracted to glasses’
and the magical community is like ‘shit, yeah, you’re right’
and just
Spare. Snape goes spare.
Picturing Snape as Mr. Crocker from the Fairly Oddparents now.
Gerald White eventually becomes a fully registered animagus. When he turns into his animagus form right in front of Snape, Snape’s bursting at the seams, just pointing at him and spluttering:
‘HE’S A BIG BLACK DOG! A DOG – THAT IS BLACK. SIRIUS BLACK. BLACK DOG DOG BLACK.’
And Remus calmly says: “That’s absurd, Severus. Sirius Black was never an animagus and besides which, people’s names don’t have any influence over their animagus forms or anything like that. That’s ridiculous.”
And Snape yells: “Shut it WEREWOLF MCWEREWOLF!”
Everyone looks at Remus, who blinks and sighs as Gerald White turns back into his human form.
“Pure coincidence,” Gerald says. “My aunt was into Roman mythology. Has to happen sometimes.” Then he pauses to give Snape an overly concerned look. “Are you alright, Severus? You’re looking a little red.”
Honest question… has this been turned into a fic??
Because I need this hilarity in my life
So what you’re saying is
Xenophilius
Lovegood accidentally had the right idea all along? Just have Sirius pretend he’s the lead singer of an old wizarding rock band and call it a day.
Conclusion: Voldemort was the most useless, magic dependant wizard that ever existed. He could have lived till like 200 if he just ate well and exercised, but no he had to go and split up his soul and ruin perfectly good jewellery, fucking dumbass.
this sounds like it was written by hermione granger at 1 am
Headcanon that an outraged 6-year-old Charlie Weasley writes to an elderly Newt Scamander wanting to know why Gringotts keeps a dragon locked up underground and begging him to fix it. Newt writes back saying that sadly he’s been fighting that fight for years and no one ever wants to listen to him because the powerful families whose money is being kept safe by the dragon always shut him down, and that Charlie is the first person he’s heard of who’s as angry as he is about it. Charlie decides that day to dedicate his life to finding out everything he can about dragons so that one day he can free the poor Gringotts dragon. After the war, when they hear that Harry, Ron and Hermione freed the dragon, they celebrate and immediately begin petitioning to have it made illegal to imprison dragons so that nothing like that ever happens again. It’s only when Hermione becomes Minister that it’s finally signed into law.
This is the best Harry Potter headcanon I’ve ever seen
yes yes yes
Just imagine how that conversation would go though, like Charlie’s been learning about dragons his whole life, studying them, learning about the laws surrounding them, practising the jailbreak of dragons by smuggling one out of Hogwarts, preparing for the moment when, one day, he can free the Ukrainian Ironbelly from Gringotts.
And Ron’s like “Oh, yeah, don’t worry about it—we broke into Gringotts and used him as our get-away vehicle. He’s just chilling in the wilds somewhere now so, yeah. Job done.”
I want an AU where Ron, completely convinced that he’s overshadowed by all his brothers and will never be as remarkable or as well-recognised as any of them, just accidentally achieves all of their major life goals without noticing. They’re all super jealous and think of him as The Golden Brother and he’s completely clueless.
I’m not sure this is an AU to be honest. I mean:
Bill Weasley: Curse-breaker, works for Gringotts breaking into cursed tombs and distributing valuables to heirs. Ron Weasley both broke into Gringotts itself and destroyed the ultimate cursed object, a Horcrux. Check.
Charlie Weasley: Aforementioned dragon stuff. Check.
Percy Weasley: Social climber, status seeker, desperate for attention and approval from his superiors. Ron: Literally married to the actual Minister of Magic. Check.
Someone else add on to this with Weasley-twin eclipsing stunts and hijinks, I’m sure there are some but my brain isn’t thinking of them right now.
I have a theory that the valued quality of each of the four Houses isn’t really about the personality of its students.
The valued quality of each of the four Houses has to do with how they perceive magic.
Stick with me a second: Hogwarts is a school to study magic. Magic as Hogwarts teaches it can be seen as many things: a natural talent, a gift, a weapon, etc.
So how you believe magic should be used will both reflect your personality and change how you handle that power.
“Their daring, nerve, and chivalry set Gryffindors apart,” Gryffindors perceive magic as a weapon. Gryffindors tend to excel in aggressive forms of magic, like offensive and defensive spells, and they are good at dueling. But a true Gryffindor knows that the power is a responsibility, and so they must always use their powers to stand up for what’s right. They are the sword of the righteous, which makes them as good at Defense Against the Dark Arts as they are at combat magic.
Hufflepuffs believe that magic is a gift and that the best gifts are to be given away. Hufflepuffs, “loyal and just,” would naturally abhor the idea of jealously guarding magic or using it to hurt someone else. So Hufflepuffs share their magic to benefit of Muggles, like the Fat Friar, to protect the overlooked, like Newt Scamander with his creatures, or to oppose those who would use magic to torment and bully, like the Hufflepuffs who stood with the DA and the battle of Hogwarts.
Slytherins are the opposite: they believe their magic is a treasure that they have been entrusted to protect. The Slytherin fascination with purity, with advantage, with cunning and secrecy–all of which were perverted by the Death Eaters–comes from the idea that people with magic in their veins have been given something special that it is their duty to protect at all costs. And perhaps they aren’t entirely wrong: power in the wrong hands can be dangerous. And power interfering at will with Muggle affairs is a gross presumption that could turn the course of history. Though the series shows some of the worst that Slytherin can be, “evil,” is not a natural Slytherin tendency. “Cautious,” is.
Ravenclaws believe that magic is an art form, one that is beautiful and should be appreciated and studied for its own sake. If “wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure,” then asking what magic is for is useless. It’s more important to immerse oneself in magic for its own sake. Ravenclaws push the boundaries of magic to see if they can, hence Hermione’s spell experiment on the DA coins being dubbed a Ravenclaw quality, but like Luna Lovegood in the pursuit of extraordinary creatures: they can also be content to plumb the depths of what already exists.
So while you can see where personalities will overlap over Houses, perhaps in Sorting we should be asking ourselves less what we think we are and more what we think we believe.
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